the thoughts in my head

Have you ever just sat and allowed thoughts to just run inside your head? What I mean by that is, just sit and think. Today is one of those days that I spent a lot of time just thinking a lot of thoughts in my head.

I think about what my life is like now. I think about how I've gotten to this place and time. I think about where my life is headed. Sometimes I think about destiny and where the Lord has my steps ordered. I wonder if I am headed in the right direction or not. Or if I have altered my destiny in any way by making certain decisions.

I often think about my character or personality. Whether I am reflecting the love of God or not allowing the light of God to shine out. I think about what people see when they look in my eyes. I believe the eyes are the windows to the soul......so what do people see when they look at me? Do they see Jesus who lives in me? Do they just see my brown eyes? Do they see joy? Or sorrow? Can they see my present standing or do they just see my past?

Today when I left OHOP I had a ton of thoughts going through my mind. Some good, some bad. At 2:00 today, I had to sing for a "worship with the word" set. We sang on the hymns of Revelation. I must say..........it was the best set I've ever sang on. Not because of how great the music sounded or the scriptures being the best. I believe it was the best set for me personally because I was allowing myself to be free to sing from my heart. I finally had an oracle today too. That was interesting. I just happened to remember a dream God gave me a few months ago about the end times. That vision flashed in my head and I immediately felt the presence of God. So I sang the scripture based on my dream. I felt freedom to do that today. I can't say I have felt that during any watch that I have done so far.

I fight my mind a lot about insecurities and worries. I know the word of God says in Philipians 4:6 - "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Sometimes that is easier said than done. I just have to remember to take those thoughts....and bring them to the Lord. Then He will bring me peace and clarity....joy and understanding.

I hope today the Lord gives me good dreams. Hopefully something prophetic. I dream a lot....and a lot of them are dreams that come to pass. Maybe today is one of those days! With that.....I will just take the time to release my thoughts through blogging. It helps out either way ;o)

Drama, drama, drama

Gosh what a long week it has been. It started to be just a non-stop week of activities, work etc. It has been very stressful at times, but some times throughout the week were just wonderful. I would go to class sometimes frustrated and leave just as happy as could be. Sometimes, it takes a smile from someone else to brighten up my day....and as a dance instructor, there are lots of smiling people in class and they make me laugh so hard sometimes. It puts my worries on pause for a while.

At times, I think I have it all under control.....but then I get a quick text, or email or even message on the web that changes everything around. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I guess the bottom line is to figure out how to handle every situation that comes my way. In a way, its like God's way of taking you from glory to glory. Either way, its just a way to learn and to grow.

Lately, I have been hitting prayer harder than usual at the House of Prayer. I have my long list of petitions and prayers for people around me. I pray from a range of subjects like the president, to someone that messaged me on facebook. I pray for friends, family, strangers.....just everything. I feel like the more I pray about everyone and everything.......the harder they get hit with situations. I am sure the enemy is pretty pissed that I am praying for people.

Whatever the situation may be, I just need the Lord to give me strength. Strength to keep pressing on through tough situations. It almost gives me a holy anger. When I feel that way, I want to just war in the heavens even more. I am sick of struggling, and I am sick of seeing others struggle.

I keep hearing the same scriptures in my head and in my spirit........

"Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Galatians 6:9 (New King James Version)

⁹ And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

I'm going to just meditate on that for a while. I need to just let that soak into my spirit so I don't get weak and frustrated.