I wish...

Isaiah 55:8-12

8 “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
       9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways,
      And My thoughts than your thoughts.
       10 “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
      And do not return there,
      But water the earth,
      And make it bring forth and bud,
      That it may give seed to the sower
      And bread to the eater,
       11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
      It shall not return to Me void,
      But it shall accomplish what I please,
      And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
       12 “ For you shall go out with joy,
      And be led out with peace;
      The mountains and the hills
      Shall break forth into singing before you,
      And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

As I sit here on my bed typing away...I keep thinking of this entire weekend. I am thinking of the way the Lord is and how He chooses to do things. I may not understand
fully whats going on in my life right now, but I know that the Word of God is true and doesn't come back to Him void. Which means, I can stand on the promises of God with trust and assurance. What I mean is that, I feel like my life is headed down a blind path right now and all I can do is just trust in the Lord with all of my heart. Just when I think I'm beginning to figure out what the Lord has for me...I get side swiped and end up sitting down as I am now, just baffled. 

Proverbs 3: 5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;  In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.  

Clearly, the Lord has wonderful things in the future for Ralph and I. I believe in His word and the things He's spoken over our lives. I believe in the dreams He's given us all these years. For a time, I was beginning to understand (slightly) where the path that God is leading us, was taking us. But I realize now that I don't know. I am certain of that. I only have glimpses and puzzles pieces of things to come. Definitely, not enough to explain things to me. I hate saying the words "I wish" because I pretty much repeated that most of my life. "I wish I had this" or "I wish I had that." I've even said "I wish the Lord would use me that way too." Truthfully, that is covetousness. Its envy. Its jealousy. I hate all of those things. 

Lately I have found myself doing that yet again. "I wish". I've had to repent for that. I refuse to be the kind of person that longs for things that are not for me at this time or not in God's will for me at all. What I mean is, God has set me aside for a specific purpose. He has chosen Ralph and I exactly as we are, to do exactly what He wants us to do. If we long for things at this time that the Lord has not put on our path, then we are deliberately wanting to be out of God's will for us. I've tried to think of what my life will be like years from now, and I can only imagine. That's it. But if I truly believe the Word of God and believe that His promises will ALWAYS come to pass, then that alone should be all I need to know what's ahead of us in our future. I knows that "His thoughts are not our thoughts, nor are His ways our ways." If I can just sit and think of great things that God has for us, then truthfully, God's great things planned are waaaaay bigger than mine. That actually gives me assurance. It gives me peace knowing that. Which is much needed these days. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring stronger faith and clarity. I wait on you Jesus.