Friday, June 19, 2009

What ends up being important to me....

Lots of exciting things are happening around me lately. Some good, some bad. Regardless of whether they are good or bad....the fact is, that everyone (or at least it feels like everyone) around me seems to be soaring. What I mean by that is, I feel like sometimes I'm just standing still watching everyone around me evolve into bigger and better things. I don't exactly feel like life is going gently down the stream. It feels like I'm swimming upstream lately. I am not the only one feeling that way. I know Ralph feels the same way too.

I've been observing a lot of people around me and how things are going in their lives. Although on the surface is all I can observe from, it just come across like I am in the middle of a busy street in Manhattan. Its like everyone around me is moving and has a set place they need to go, yet I am still standing around watching everyone pass me by. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not throwing myself a pity party here. I am just thinking about how my life just feels like its just going really slow.

I just wish that things would just progress for me already. Or should I say for us. I see people around me getting so blessed, favored, becoming famous, having babies, going to school etc. I don't know, I guess since I don't see anything happening in my life that is meaningful or that makes me feel successful. I almost feel like I'm not walking correctly in my destiny. I mean, I truly believe we can change our own decisions by the choices we make so, I really have to observe the paths I choose to take. I don't want to look back one day and think that I have made the wrong decisions in life and ended up changing my destiny.

The brighter side to all of this is, that in spite of all the drama going on in my family, and the frustrations I have at work, or the confidence in myself.....the best part about my life is that I am truly blessed to know the Lord. When I feel lonely in this world, Jesus will sit with me and keep me company. When I feel like I have had enough drama and can't take it anymore, the Lord will let me cast my cares upon Him. When I am down, He lifts me up. When I am weak, He makes me strong. And truthfully, although I see people around me praised, or becoming famous or favored by all......the one true blessing I hold onto as the most important things to me is, knowing that I have eternal life. Knowing that my Lord is faithful until the end. Understanding that its not about my glory.....but the Lord's glory that matters.

I don't want to be the kind of person that has to be the one in the limelight with all the glory. I would rather be the person that the Lord sees and has favor over me. I would rather sit in the shadows with the Lord, then be on top of the world.....and be all alone. I'm just blessed to know and have the privilege of being saved and aware that I am the daughter of the living God!

Some things matter to some people, and to others it doesn't make a difference. In my life, the most important thing is to follow the will of the Lord. Everything else will stay here on earth after life is over. But knowing that you did the Lord's will and obeyed His command, will benefit you even after you are gone. I'm just blessed......