A week of joy and a few updates

I can't believe it....but its true. I've actually had a full weeks worth of no major morning sickness. I did have one small episode and a few bouts of nausea but all in all, its been a pretty darn good week.

Its been pretty lovely the last few days. My hubs and I spent time doing a little bit of spring cleaning in our apartment. Well...mostly our closet and drawers but still, its progress. We got a new mattress (which is blissful and doesn't hurt my back) and now we are working on buying or renting a home. Thats a pure challenge but it will all work itself out either way (being seriously optimistic). I've also wanted to become a beach bum. I went to the beach last week and now I'm determined to go back a few more times before I look like a beached whale. I looooove going to the beach. Its so nice and relaxing. Its also not summer yet so it wont be so unbearable to be there. Even with cool downs in the water, its like sitting in an oven sometimes. Temps here have been abnormally hot and its still spring. Summer is quickly approaching and with that, hot hot humid weather. And supposedly lots of thunder storms. Hopefully no hurricanes.

As far as updates on the prego adventures.....well, besides feeling 85% better, is that I have actually been able to feel the baby move around in my stomach. Thats kind of weird. I know its supposed to feel super cool and such but it freaks me out sometimes. Maybe I just have to get used to it lol. Ralph was able to feel a little bit of baby movement as well. He was super excited about it. That was amusing because he was actually talking into my stomach and such while he felt the baby move. It was almost as if the baby was responding to what he would say. In a few weeks, I will be having my sonogram to find out if its a boy or a girl. Sadly, my husband and I only have a girl name picked out. We are still having issues picking a boy name. I'm hoping for a girl but I'll of course be happy with whatever we get. Maybe I should ask around for baby names for a boy. Lets see what others can come up with.

Anyway, I'm here in our Kissimmee studio waiting for Ralph to be done with his lesson. He's had quite an exciting week also. He just passed his test to become a certified NRA pistol instructor. So now people that want to get their concealed weapons license can get it through Ralph. He's so excited about that. So pretty cool things are happening lately so we will see how this summer ends up turning out. Until next time....

Rach

I'm trying to get out of my rut

Its been a while since I blogged about life. Most of my blogging (which is very rare) lately has been about work and salsa stuff. My friends have been blogging away and I just need to get back into the swing of things.

It seems as though pregnancy has gotten the best of me. What I mean is, I've found myself in a totally different field of playing. I thought that when I get pregnant, everything was going to be so great and my walk with the Lord will just soar to new heights. But reality is, my spiritual walk feels so cold and dry. I've been so weary for the past 3 months (almost 4). I've been so sick and tired and weary that I found myself so self absorbed in my own pitty and frustrations, that I cast aside my hearts desire to pray and intercede and even sing. I haven't been doing much of anything. I dream a little here and there but not like I was dreaming before. Its like my spiritual antenna is broken or not in use at the moment. I've found myself really annoyed and frustrated with myself and I have had such a hard time trying to get out of it.

Today was one of my first times going back to the House of Prayer (aside from the regular Sunday service that I go to). I had to fight to be focused. I had to try to stay awake because suddenly I became overwhelmed with sleepiness. I was so frustrated. I sat there on my kindle trying to read through Psalms and Deuteronomy. After about two hours, I just finally started to feel like myself again. It was so hard for me. I never had to fight so hard to get into the word or feel the presence of God, but I did today. I've heard so many other young moms tell me how much they loved being pregnant and how it brought them so much closer to God. I feel like a black sheep. Like I took ten steps back instead.

The one thing I've spent a lot of time doing is crying out to the Lord for guidance and healing. I've been so desperate to feel relief from morning sickness and fatigue that I couldn't focus on anything else really. It hasn't been up until just recently this week, that I have had at least 3 full days without being sick (not counting today of course). I just finally feel relief and its like the smoke is clearing from around me spiritually speaking. Like I'm starting to see clearly again. Sadly, I haven't exactly been a prayer warrior in the mommy department. I've prayed over the baby in my womb....but out of my own self pitty have focused on me being sick. My husband has been so diligently praying over me and the baby. He's been the rock that I have been leaning on for the past few months. He's been going daily to the House of Prayer and just has tunnel vision. Just like we used to when we were on staff. I'm almost jealous of that. He's up early and out the door ready for the day. Meanwhile I'm at home laying in bed praying I hold down my food for the day. Sigh....I've had to fight a lot of guilt and condemnation as well. I've also had to fight the urge to be bitter about being pregnant. Not because of the baby, but because its been such a rough road physically for me. I'm slowly emerging from the rubble....Hopefully things will just begin to improve with my health and with my spiritual walk as well. I guess I just need to breathe a little bit and dust myself off and keep on walking. I really don't know what else to do at the moment.......

A day in the life of a prego dancer

Its been such a rough few weeks. I have been doing a lot of praying for mercy. I wake up to a volcanic eruption of what I like to call "pukemaggedon". Its so hard to function normal on a day when you feel like you have the flu all the time. I pray a lot to the Lord for mercy and strength to endure. Its not easy teaching and dancing with nausea flipping my stomach over and over.

I've been making a conscious effort to continue doing everything I would normally do in my day to day life, but I find myself exhausted constantly and worried from one moment to another whether I'm going to hold food down. Now I realize millions of women suffer through this everyday. However, this is the first time I've had to go through this and its almost traumatizing. I have been focused on trying to keep going each day like normal, but its is increasingly hard as the weeks go by. Lots of moms have been telling me "don't worry, its all over in a few weeks"....and then I have other moms say "yeah I puked till my third trimester". Sigh.....I'm not sure how long this part of the pregnancy will last...but man I am praying for a miracle. I just want to feel semi normal again. I want to be able to wake up and not feel sick.

I know that in the end, I will not think back on this but rather enjoy the new life that God blessed us with. I lose lots of sleep thinking about that. I think about how I'm supposed to work and be a mom all at the same time. I mean, its not like I have a typical 9-5 job. I teach salsa for a living and my schedule is so crazy. I travel, I teach, I dance......sigh...I lose sleep just imagining how I'm supposed to do this all. Its definitely going to take me to a place of prayer. I have never needed more prayer than I do now. Anyway, that was my soap box whining moment for the day. I can't wait to write about new and exciting things instead of my puke sorrows. 

More on Prego adventures

So this is a strange child already. If I eat anything healthy such as vegetables, soup or anything green pretty much, I gag profusely. I can't even think about it because it makes my stomach just turn. Now, I can sit down and have an entire bowl of crappy kids cereal and I don't have one bout of nausea. Go figure! This is definitely a child after Ralph's own heart. At least I've managed to be able to hold down food. This is good.

I kind of wish there was an organic pregnancy energy drink out there. If such a thing were to exist. I have no energy what so ever. Its just such a mission to walk up a flight of stairs. Its so strange. I never knew I could be so completely overwhelmed and tired. I sleep a lot, puke a lot, and lay around feeling miserable as of lately. I know this is supposed to be this great beautiful experience, but seriously??? I'm just praying for tomorrow to be the day the nausea and puking stops. I haven't thought of baby room themes or anything like that. Just one day at a time of torture. I know everyone keeps telling me "its only temporary, and it will all be over soon" or "be happy even in the bad times its a blessing". Sigh...soooo much easier said than done. I mean, I am thankful that the Lord blessed me to have a child. Some people can't get this far. So I know I'm blessed in that aspect. However, it doesn't make the process of being sick any better. It is what it is. Sigh.

I'm hoping that this will all be over soon. Here's hoping for the best!
rach

The test

So I had a feeling that I was prego. I actually prayed the night before this test. I asked God to give me a dream to tell me if I am prego or not. He did. I dreamed I took this test and basically freaked out in the dream. Well I woke up, remembered the dream, took the test....and yes....I freaked out. I had a mini meltdown. I just felt it wasn't the greatest timing but its all good. I know everything happens for a reason. So I'm running with this one. Sigh....here we go again!

Prego Adventures

It was this time last year that I started up the Prego Chronicles and then quickly after that lost the baby I was having. Its a year later and here I am. Pregnant. Again. So, I figured I would write about all of my little adventures.

First on the agenda.....the wicked stomach flu I just got. Wow....I haven't puked that many times since I was a kid. I found myself feeling like my life was officially over. I couldn't figure out if I was sick because of pregnancy or because of a flu. Regardless, it was knocking me out for the count. I ended up going to the emergency room to sit with an IV in my arm for a few hours. They ended up having to give me 4 doses of nausea and vomiting medication to get me to settle my stomach. Needless to say, it was settled (sort of) until I got back in the car and left the hospital. There I was again in the car. Going at it again. It was awful. The doctors tried to diagnose me with hyperemesis. I refused to believe that I was going to be sick like this for the first and second half of my pregnancy. I was miserable. I did a lot of praying and crying out to God. I just kept saying "God, I can't live like this...its awful." Then morning came around and I was still nauseous but the puking subsided. I finally felt relief. I basically slept the majority of the weekend until yesterday. I woke up to hang out for a while but found myself fighting to sleep again.

I'm slowly getting better. That was by far, the worse most wicked stomach virus I have had since I was a kid. I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy. Anyway, I'm recuperating and I will hopefully be back up and running soon. I went out today and got a little dizzy so I have to take it a little slower. I feel like I've been in a cave for a week. Sheesh....

Anyway, I'll be posting occasionally how I am doing. I'll post a picture or two here and there. Until then....
Rach

Embarking on a new journey of the fascination of God

This weekend we had a wonderful conference called Onething. We had a few guest speakers that came out and gave such a powerful word. Ralph and I could only catch a few hours of it at a time due to work, but it was worth it for the brief moments that we were there.

On Sunday, Wes Martin came to OHOP (Orlando House of Prayer) and talked about prayer life. He described a way of being so fascinated with reading the word that just moved me to my very core. I needed that. I love to read a great book and there are some books in the bible that I love reading over and over. But to be truly fascinated with the word of God and the knowledge of God has not come easy for me. If at all. Now don't get me wrong. I am fascinated with the word but on a different level.

Wes talked about three passages in the bible that he studies that take him on a completely new level of understanding the Knowledge and Holiness of God. He talked about how to dialogue with the Lord and ask questions as you read the passages of scripture and wait on the Lord to speak to you. You wait for Him to reveal and speak to you about the words you are reading. Its amazing how he describes things.

I did that very thing today. I opened up Revelation Chapter 4 and read it over and over. I sat and asked the Lord to speak to me and show me. I asked questions about the four living creatures and the throne room. I even sat still trying to imagine what it must be like up there. I was amazed. It was so cool. God is so great and powerful. Nothing is as fascinating as the word of the living God. Something funny Wes said on Sunday was: "have you ever sat in your car after a movie and just sat in amazement stunned for seven days because of such a movie that floored you?" He was describing Ezekiel 3:15 in the bible and how he had a vision that left him stunned for seven days. Wow.....only the Lord can overwhelm you for seven days. There has never been a blockbuster hit that had people dazed for a week.

Now that I've tried reading the word differently, I am hooked. I can't wait until the Lord starts to fascinate me like that. I don't know to what extent but I am certainly looking forward to it. Maybe He'll give me a dream........

My sisters dog Charlie (he's a Maltese)

Charlie was talking to me lol

Setting Goals for 2011

With the hubs at Boardwalk setting our goals for the upcoming year.

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2010 and its changes, 2011 is already here.

This year(2010) started off pretty hard for Rachel and I. we started the year off finding out Rachel was prego and we were not ready for a little one on the way. Buy the 2 month Rachel and I had warmed up to the idea and all through the third month we were excited till something so unexpected happen. We lost our child. It was one of the hardest things to deal with in our marriage because you feel helpless especially as a husband that wants to be there for your wife and still feels like you could do nothing. Now if that wasn't enough we had two miscarriages. Now once we went though that process we decided to believe the Lords word in the good and bad no matter what the situation. Now I do have to say that when the age to come is here and Jesus has returned we will not only be looking forward to seeing Jesus coming down with fire in His eyes for all eyes to see Him but we will also be looking forward to seeing my kids that have been with Jesus since there beginning. So with the Lords help we moved on and it seems like from that point on the year got better and the Lord was showing us favor. we began flying to Iowa every other month and even 2 months straight the last 2 months of this year.

Now the last 4 to 5 years I always would confess the year was going to be great without seeking the Lord and asking Him about what is to come. Now don't get me wrong confession is great and biblical but we also want to know what the Lord is saying about the current season in our lives and what is to come. So this year the closer we got to 2011 i didn't really make many confessions except for me wanting to know what the Lord had in store for us and what His plans were for 2011. I can truly say that this year feels like a year of big changes and not to say that everything is going to be perfect or that nothing bad will happen to us but there is something about this year that feels different in a positive way. Not to say that what we went though is the worst thing a marriage can go though but i believe our relationship with the Lord grew because of the trials we went though. If it wasn't for trials and tribulation we as humans wouldn't grow. Therefore if anything im looking to grow in Revelation, Wisdom and understanding this year. That my relationship with the Lord Hits new heights like never before. And i would love to take some friends and Relatives with me on this journey.

Mike Bickle said today that John 5:39-40 says "You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of ME. 40 But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have Life. Now remember Jesus was telling this to those that would spend there lives knowing the scriptures like the back of there hands but couldn't see who the scripture were point to. The Word of God is very important but if we don't go the direction the Word of God is pointing us to which is Jesus then we are missing the point of the Word of God in the first place. So now we simply need to ask ourselves one question, Who is Jesus to you? This to me is truly a questions that if we truly know the dynamics of the questions will be answering till the age to come. Till Jesus is standing face to face with us. Jesus Your Beautiful!!!